You Want To Stay Connected After the Kids Leave the Nest?

Turn off the TV and tune into each other!

There's no doubt that menopause, midlife crises and major life changes (like transitioning to an empty nest) can put extra pressure on relationships. The trick is to accept these changes and find new ways of interacting with each other.

Wives are guilty of underestimating how important sex is for their husbands who by nature access their emotions through physical intimacy. Without regular romantic interludes, husbands become emotionally withdrawn.

Likewise, husbands frequently fail to recognize how important conversation is to helping their wives feel "connected." When they don't pay enough attention to their wives, it isn't necessarily a sign that the relationship is over. It has merely fallen asleep and needs to be woken up!

Midlife is the time to rediscover the joy of being together. Find a project that you can both get involved with. Plan a vacation together. Pick up a new hobby that you both will enjoy. What did you do when you were dating or before the kids came along? Cook a gourmet meal together. Read to one another. Rent a tandem bike or a canoe and embark on an afternoon adventure. Rekindle the joy of being in one another's company!

Share your dreams with each other. If you are contemplating going back to college - either for a degree or just for the mental stimulation - let your husband know what your motivation is. He may be fearful that you're going to grow beyond him - or that you'll meet someone more intellectually stimulating than he thinks he is - and therefore will be unsupportive at first. Discuss his concerns and relieve his fears. He will become your number one fan if you make him part of your plans.

Don't let your relationship be a casualty of your midlife transition. Now that the kids have moved on with their own lives, this is an opportunity to give your marriage the attention it needs. Breathe new life into it and experience the wonderful, fulfilling relationship you always wished you'd had time for before.

What ideas do you have for staying connected at midlife?