6 Tips for Coping With Splitting Up

My heart truly breaks when I hear stories (all-too often) of another couple splitting up. Separation and divorce are believed to rank second only to death of a spouse in terms of stress levels. If you're in the midst of a split right now, you're likely going through the emotional stages of grief: shock, protest, guilt, anger, hope, inferiority, depression, loneliness, and finally acceptance.

Here are six tips for coping:

1. Recognize that you're not the first person to experience this pain and suffering. Remember the old saying, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger?"
2. Express your feelings. Talk it through with those you're closest to. Cry. Journal. Find excuses to laugh. Watch a funny movie just to release some of the tension.
3. Understand what went wrong. Learn from it. Don't spend a huge amount of time over-analyzing, but try to take away the lessons to be learned from your loss.
4. Fill the emptiness. Find projects to work on. Take a trip. Volunteer. Get involved in life outside your own little world.
5. Keep things in perspective. Challenge negative thoughts. Write them down when they occur and look for the positive perspective. Read uplifting literature. Listen to stories that will inspire you. Give your friends permission to help you "police" your negative comments.
6. Table tough decisions. Avoid making any major decisions when you are really upset. Give yourself the time and space to clear your head and think straight before deciding important issues like where to live.

I truly wish that no one had to go through the agony of divorce, but for those that have no other choice, you will make it! It won't be easy, but life will go on and you will experience joy again.