Hope for the Overwhelmed Home Business Owner

If you're like me and work from home, you know how stressful it can be to own a home business. Although I absolutely love what I do, I get frustrated at times because there never seems to be enough hours in the day. I try to return all of my emails personally, but some days I don't get back to everyone as promptly as I'd like to. (If this has been you, please accept my apology!)

And what about your household and family responsibilities? At times does it just seem completely overwhelming? Our oldest son moved out a few years ago, but I still have four kids living at home -- which certainly makes things lively! With teenagers, it seems like you're constantly driving to music lessons, sports practice, drivers' training, friends' houses, youth group activities, after school programs, and did I mention the mall?

Do you feel pushed to the limit? I know that many times I do. That's when I realize that it's time to slow down and reconnect with myself. I shut the door, close my computer, and sit in my reading chair or lay down on the floor and just focus on my breathing for a few minutes. Then I ask myself why it is that I'm doing what I'm doing. I think about my vision for helping other women like myself (and now husbands as well) to make sense out of the changes and challenges that midlife brings so they can make choices that will bring them a fulfilling and meaningful life.

This is the passion that drives me, but I also know that I need to take care of myself -- just as I encourage all of you to do as well. Therefore, I take breaks to be with my family, or have lunch with a friend, or just to take some quiet time by myself (usually at a local bookstore in one of those big, overstuffed chairs where I can lose myself for hours in a pile of books). I don't do this as often as I should, but when I do, I return to my work refreshed and rejuvenated.

Systems and routines are also key to staying afloat when the demands of your business threaten to capsize you. Just as you have routines for caring for your house, it's important to have daily, weekly, and monthly systems in place for managing your business. Without them, you're just flying by the seat of your pants and not being very effective with your precious time.

Do first things first. Determine what is the highest payoff activity in your business and make time for it every day. For me, it's writing. If I don't make time for writing every day, then I'm not doing my "main thing." It's so easy to get caught up in reading emails, processing orders, answering voice mail messages, checking stats, that I can go for days without writing. That's not good. I'm now trying to write first in the morning and then answer emails, followed by everything else. If your business involves sales, then your "main thing" is to call on potential clients every day. If your business is creating a product, then your main business is to do your craft every day. If you don't do your main thing, then everything else is meaningless.

Finally, it's important to keep growing and learning more about your industry. Do you subscribe to industry journals? Do you continually invest in home study programs that will teach you more about your product or service? Do you take classes that will improve your knowledge and skills? Even the "masters" keep practicing their craft so that they will challenge themselves to new levels of expertise. Don't allow yourself to get stuck in a rut! Keep growing so your business will continue to grow and flourish.

What kind of home business do you have? Share some of your ideas for avoiding that overwhelmed feeling.

10 Tips for Looking Fabulous Over 40

Middle age isn't what it used to be. Women in their 40's and 50's these days are as healthy and attractive as their mothers were at 30 - and many women aren't afraid to show it off. The good news is that some of the biggest fashion trends of this next year are reported to be perfectly suitable for older women. Although there will be plenty to choose from, style experts caution women to pursue a look that's stylish and even sexy, as long as they know where to draw the line.

"For a woman over 40, that is such a jewel of a time to express the different parts of herself," says Brenda Kinsel, 53, a fashion expert and author of 40 Things Every Woman Over 40 Needs to Know About Getting Dressed. "Women over 40 can look nothing short of fantastic every day."

Here are 10 tips she offers for looking fabulous:

1. Stick to the "half and half" rule.
"If you're doing something fuller, bigger and less form-fitting, do it only on half of your body and have the other half be trim," she says. Billowy fabrics from head to toe fool no one and make you look bigger than you actually are. A look Kinsel recommends is a strong, tailored, straight-legged pair of pants with a looser, flowing jacket. Add a tangle of long necklaces and a sexy shoe, and you have a flattering look that is anything but dowdy.

2. Go for small doses of generous cuts.
Kinsel likes Chico's and Eileen Fisher for easy-fitting pieces, but she recommends wearing both "in small doses." Head-to-toe looks from either line can look "matronly," Kinsel warns. "I like taking one piece and putting it with other clothes. I don't like a head-to-toe Chico's look," she says. "Women have to be smart shoppers. They have to wade through the fashion for that age zone. "There are some vendors who are more generous with cuts and shapes and not trying to fit a 12-year-old body. But you have to be careful not to get too carried away with that, because you can lose your shape and definition with that look.

3. Get out of your rut.
Kinsel also tells her clients not to limit themselves to their regular haunts when shopping for clothes. "When I shop with clients in a department store, I am shopping at least three different departments to put her in an outfit, because I want a mix. I want the things that flatter her body and her shape, but I also want her to have a little verve."

4. Remember the L word.
If your body is less than perfect — and whose isn't? — Lycra is your friend. "When you add Lycra to a fabric, that is your saving grace," she says.

5. Shop designers, then cheat.
Kinsel likes Elie Tahari, Theory, Anne Klein, Max Mara and Ellen Tracy. Even if you can't afford designer clothes, Kinsel recommends becoming familiar with the cuts and fabrics of high-quality clothing so you can spot the best knockoffs in less-expensive stores. One of her all-time favorite purchases is a store-brand jacket that's a dead ringer for Prada. "There's more value for your money when you shop that way," she says.

6. Show off your best asset.
Kinsel says women need to "stop focusing on what they feel doesn't work" about their bodies and start thinking about what they like. "If you have great legs and broad shoulders, stop worrying about the darn shoulders and focus on those legs," she says. "Put the most money on the thing that is going to flatter the most." Women waste time and money hiding what they don't like about their bodies instead of investing in clothes that will highlight their best features. "Somebody can be totally fretting about their waistline, and someone is looking at them across the room thinking, 'I would do anything to have legs like that.' Let's stop with the negative and focus on the positive."

7. Don't pay attention to sizes.
Focus on fit. "Good-fitting clothes make you look like a million bucks," she says. "I have seen designer suits that look terrible on a woman because the sleeves are too long; it's not fitting her body properly." Kinsel says a recent client showed off an Armani suit, and "it looked like something she got at a discount store because it was so ill-fitting." And don't buy a size smaller and say you'll diet down into it. "You can't put fashion on hold. You have to jump into the water in whatever bathing suit you're in," she says. And if something needs to be altered, do it right away.

8. Pay attention to your shoes.
Good shoes and quality handbags make your whole outfit look better. And make sure you have the right accessories for each outfit. If you find a great shoe, Kinsel says, "look for a bag right away that blends with it. It doesn't have to match, but find a bag that blends, so every time you wear those shoes you have a complete look. "Nothing looks worse than the cute spring shoe with a winter handbag."

9. Study fashion magazines.
Learning about what's in and the latest trends will train your eye and help you update your own look without losing your sense of style.

10. Add color.
"Introducing a new color into your life is like taking on a lover," Kinsel says. "If a woman has been doing the same old thing year after year and suddenly she discovers orange or hot pink, it can make her look five years younger."

Boomer Women Plan To Spend Retirement "Giving Back"

The New Retirement Survey by Merrill Lynch gives us all an insightful look at what we can expect from the boomer generation during their retirement years. Surprisingly, the generation that has been widely known for their self-centered ways responded that they plan to focus their time and efforts during retirement towards others and causes that they are passionate about.

Consider the following information about boomers as reported in the New Retirement Survey:

• 67% state that continued mental stimulation and challenge is what will motivate them to continue work as opposed to only 37% who cite continued earnings as the reason they plan to be active in the workforce
• Boomers are now ten times more likely to “put others first” than “put themselves first”
• Boomer women are better educated, more independent, and more financially engaged than any generation in history
• Married boomer women are more than six times more likely to share responsibility for savings and investments compared to their mothers’ generation
• Boomer women view their empty nest and retirement as an opportunity for career development, community involvement and continued personal growth

Midlife Women Today Have the Financial Resources, Skills and Confidence To Act On Their Impulses

The 'midlife crisis' has long been thought of as something that afflicts men and often involves red sports cars and trophy wives. But the Wall Street Journal's Work & Family columnist, Sue Shellenbarger, says that as gender roles change, women are increasingly experiencing their own version of these upheavals.

I quote from her book, The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis is Transforming Today's Women:

"This pattern of female midlife crisis is emerging now because, to put it simply, women are different today. For the first time in history, women not only face more of the kind of stresses that tend to bring on midlife crises, but they also have the financial muscle, the skills and the confidence to act out their frustrations and resolve them. In a sense, women are having midlife crises now because they can."

It's a fact that women today have the financial strength needed to act on midlife rebelliousness. "Nearly one-third of wives now outearn their husbands," writes Shellenbarger, "and the proportion of women earning more than $100,000 tripled in the past decade. All this gives women a sense of freedom at midlife. 'My successful, satisfying career allowed me to be very independent, with a cocky attitude that sparked to a full-blown midlife crisis,' says a California saleswoman in my study." Women also have the skills and resources to make career changes or start their dream businesses at midlife if they wish.

Do you agree or disagree with Ms. Shellenbarger?

6 Benefits of Owning A Hot Tub

Why own a hot tub? Consider these stress-relieving benefits of hydro-therapy:

1. Reduce stress and relax: Immersing in warm water raises body temperatures, causing blood vessels to dilate which then improves circulation. This process, called vasodilation, creates the perfect environment for relaxation.
2. Sleep better: Soaking in warm water before bedtime allows sleep to come quicker due to a rise in body temperature.
3. Gain relief for arthritis, aches and stiffness: Warm, pulsating water increases the blood supply to aching joints, thus reducing inflammation from the area and relieving pain. The warm water also relaxes muscles and allows for greater flexibility.
4. Breathe and think easier: Steam rising off hot water can help open up nasal and bronchial passages to aid in maintaining upper respiratory health. Many people find that soaking in a hot tub relieves headache pain, especially pain from tension headaches.
5. Improve cardio health: Soaking in hot water gives many of the health benefits of exercise with less strain on the heart. It increases the heart rate while it lowers blood pressure, rather than raising it as other forms of exercise do.
6. Relieve back and knee pain: Four out of five Americans suffer from chronic back pain. Warm-water therapy alleviates lower back pain and knee ailments by reducing stress and stiffness.
   

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Puerto Vallarta Anyone?

Want to go on a fun and relaxing vacation? Book a trip with a friend or group of friends. Celebrate a special birthday or just have a memorable getaway with your gal pals.

Girlfriends traveling to Mexico together through Mexican Destinations enjoy everything from beach side massage treatments and shopping tours, to catered meals and margarita parties. According to Kim Coates, president of Mexican Destinations, "There's a real need for women to get together and rejuvenate. Mothers and daughters, high school and college reunions, and bridesmaids’ escapes are just some of the groups of women who are seeing an emotional value in getting away to reconnect. We want to provide a pampered setting where girls can relax and have fun."

It's offiicial - 'Google' is a verb

Since Google founders Larry Page and Serge Brin brought Google to life in September 1998, the word 'Google' has become synonymous with searching the web and now has been officially classified as a verb.

Google, googled, and googling are words now used so commonly that dictionaries are adding the transitive verb in their upcoming editions.

To be grammatically correct, by the way, use lowercase 'g' when used generically and an uppercase 'G' when referring to the use of the Google search engine.

So have you Googled today?

Midlife Is Like Playing On the Monkey Bars

Today I heard Alan Weiss use an illustration that I've heard before, but it made me think about how it applies to our journey through midlife. He used the illustration of children transversing the monkey bars on a school playground. How do you successfully get from one side to the other? You have to let go of the bar that you're on in order to swing and catch hold of the next bar! If you don't let go, you'll never get to the other side.

What are you hanging onto that you need to let go of before you can move to the next bar on your journey through midlife?

American Bandstand Debuted (1956)

"We're goin' hoppin' (Hop!)
We're goin' hopin' today
Where things are poppin'(Pop!)
The Philadelphia way
We're goin' drop in (Drop!)
On all the music they play
On the Bandstand!"

Gets your feet tapping just thinking about it, doesn't it?

Bandstand began as a local program on WFIL-TV (now WPVI), Channel 6 in Philadelphia on October 7, 1952. Then it was hosted by Bob Horn and was called Bob Horn's Bandstand. On July 9 of 1956 the show got a new host, a clean-cut 26 year old named Dick Clark. When ABC picked the show up, it was renamed American Bandstand, airing it's first national show on August 5, 1957. The show was moved to Los Angeles in 1964. From 1963 to 1987 Bandstand was on only once a week, on Saturday. Briefly it was part of the USA Network with new host David Hirsh but went off the air in 1989.

Brain Power Can Improve with Age

Science has long made us believe that intellectual power declines with age, reaching its peak at 40. But new studies are revealing quite the opposite. Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley interviewed women at ages 27, 43, 52 and 61, and found increased tolerance for the uncertainties of life peaked in the 50s. Studies also show at that age, the left and the right brains tend to work together more -- instead of separately.

You begin to say to yourself, 'What the heck am I afraid of?'' Midlife is a time of confidence and daring mental leaps. For those that take the plunge, it can be the happiest time of your life.

What do you think?

Midlife Remarriage: Blending Families Can Work

With the divorce rate so high for second and subsequent marriages, how do you overcome the statistical odds and create a successful blend of families -- including not only you as a couple, but children from previous relationships, new inlaws, and ex-spouses? To survive, you really need to work together and support one another.

Here are three excellent articles on the subject of midlife remarriage:
Midlife Remarriage
Premium Blend
Stepfamilies: What about the couple relationship?

What have you found to be successful in creating a positive second marriage?

Happy Birthday, Mr. President!

President George W. Bush celebrates his 60th birthday today. He is not alone, however, in crossing this milestone in 2006. Other well-known Boomers turning 60 this year include Laura Bush, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Sly Stallone, Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen, Cher, Jimmy Buffett, and Steven Spielberg.

The U.S. Census Bureau says roughly every 11 seconds another Baby Boomer in the United States turns 60. That adds up to about 8,000 every day and almost three million just in 2006.

Although was once thought of as the first year of "old age," age 60 is now considered among many to be only the midpoint of "middle age." Matt Thornhill, who heads the Boomer Project, says, “A Boomer at 60 doesn't consider him or herself old. In fact, they don’t think they are going to be old for another 15 or 20 years.”

This Boomer generation, more so than those that came before, has been open to growth and change. Thornhill says that may be more important now than ever, as Boomers move into a new phase of life far more active and socially aware than past generations.

Midlife Couple Takes Steps to Revitalize Their Marriage

Barbie and Paul Bentley decided to revitalize their 27-year marriage by walking from one of their favorite places to stay – Mary Janes Farm near Moscow, Idaho – to one of their favorite places to eat -- a catfish restaurant in Astor, Florida. The couple calls their trek across America "A Walk for Marriage."

The Bentleys are empty nesters, with a 25-year-old son and a 20-year-old daughter. They contemplated several adventures, but a walk across the nation was something they'd dreamed of when they were much younger. Still, the decision to take action didn't come until their marriage became a bit stale, admitted 49-year-old Paul Bentley.

To get ready for the walk they sold their home, moved into a used 35-foot trailer and quit their jobs. They packed light, planning to sleep in their tent most nights – although once or twice a week they'll stay in motels. They plan to walk between 10 and 15 miles a day, first wandering through north-central Idaho and into Montana. Then they will head south to Wyoming and onward to Colorado, where they plan to break for the winter, working odd jobs to replenish bank accounts.

In May, they plan to resume their trek to Florida, arriving sometime in November of 2007 – an estimated 7 million steps total.

To read their reports from the road, visit the Bentley’s web page.

What “steps” are you willing to take to revitalize your marriage?

Leave Work Behind While On Vacation

As summer heats up, more business travelers are veering off their regular schedules for some much-needed time off. Making the most of that time -- whether you're at home or on a leisure trip -- means disconnecting from what's going on at work.

"It really is critical for people to get time off when they're not tethered to a cell phone or a laptop answering e-mails," said Karon Wright, president and founder of Achievement Partners, an executive coaching and management development firm based in Thousand Oaks, California. "Getting your mind and body back into balance is what time off is all about, and you can't rest and recover if you're not taking your vacation days."

Unplugging from work gets your mind and body in balance. It's important while on vacation to practice "living in the moment." Focus on the person you're spending time with or the activity you're engaged in while you're away from work.

How do you "unplug" away from work?

Caring For An Aging Parent Doesn't Need To Be A Lonely Road

Almost 3 out of 10 individuals age 45 to 64 with unmarried children under 25 in the home -- some 712,000 men and women – are also caring for a senior, according to a new study. More than 80% of these sandwiched individuals work, causing some to reduce or shift their hours or to lose income. Also, many are incurring extra expenses such as renting medical equipment.

It’s no surprise that women are more likely than men to be sandwiched. On average, women spend 29 hours a month providing care to seniors (more than twice as many as the 13 hours spent by their male counterparts). Men typically provide outside home maintenance and transportation assistance while women are more likely to provide personal care such as bathing, dressing or feeding, and in-home care such as food preparation and clean up.

Are you caught in this “Sandwich Generation?”

Get help! Don’t carry the burden all alone. Ask around – there are resources in your community to give you the break that you deserve. Most importantly, find a support system where you can turn to before resentments, conflicts, and everyday stresses build. You owe it to yourself and your family to take care of yourself.