Are "Midlife" and "Menopause" Interchangeable?

I have lost count of how many times I've been asked the question, "How can I be having a midlife crisis if I haven't gone through menopause yet?" (or some variation of that concern). I have a few thoughts on the subject -- big surprise, right?

First of all, by today's standards, midlife consists of the time approximately between the ages of 40 and 60 (assuming that the majority of us can expect to live between 80 and 100 years). That doesn't mean that at age 35 you can't be experiencing a "midlife transition" which, as the name implies, is the period of time during which you become aware that you're moving into the next stage of your life. Afterall, we have the terms, "adolescence" and "pre-adolescence" to describe the transition from childhood into young adulthood. Likewise, some women may not go through an awareness that they've moved to the next stage of life until they're well into their forties.

So what does all this have to do with menopause? According to the National Women's Health Resource Center, normal menopause can occur any time between the ages of 40 and 58, although the average age is 51.4. By this point in your life, you're already in the middle of what is typically thought to be the "midlife years." Now please don't misinterpret that to mean that I think someone over age 60 is old -- certainly not! I think that we need to come up with new terminology to more clearly define the group of individuals in their 60's and 70's with that of people in their 80's and 90's. In fact, we have many more centurians among us than we did 100 years ago when the average life expectancy was something like 48! Lumping everyone into the category of "seniors" just doesn't cut it anymore!

To emphasize my point, a few weeks ago I was speaking at the Passages Center for Women's Health annual retreat. One of the morning breakout sessions was offering a brief introduction into line dancing. Later, during lunch, they entertained us with the dance they had learned. To my delight, one of the participants was an 82-year-old woman. She was visibly fit and it was so inspiring to see her totally uninhibited and having the time of her life! Isn't that great? We don't have to fit into age-old sterotypes anymore of what older age needs to look like!

But back to menopause: How long does it last? How do you know if you're in it? Are there tests that can tell you that you've "arrived" at this stage in life?

According to an article published by the National Women's Health Resource Center, symptoms may include:

• Hot flashes and night sweats
• Irregular periods
• Problems sleeping
• Headaches
• Mood swings
• Vaginal dryness

While other symptoms may be present, these are the most common. The complete article can be found at: Could I Be In Menopause?

So how did "midlife" ever become synonymous with "menopause?" I think it's due to the fact that previous generations failed to recognize that women actually go through a midlife transition. My father's mother simply went to bed for five years because support for women in a midlife crisis didn't exist! It was simply referred to as, "Oh, Mother is menopausal." Menopause technically only lasts for one day!

In my previous post, An Open Letter to A Midlife Husband, I discussed how ours is the first generation where women have the freedom and the voice to acknowledge and express their own feelings and discontentment. With that freedom, however, comes responsibility. We can't just walk out on our lives without any consideration for how it might affect those closest to us. What we can do is use our "rights" responsibly to make constructive use of these midlife years. Embrace them! Use the time of midlife transition to make positive changes in your perspective, carve out stimulating careers, and gratifying relationships. Use your freedom to transform into the woman you were meant to be and not someone else's idea of who you should be.

Whether you're pre- or post-menopausal, use your own emotional strength, inner courage, innate creativity, and amazing intelligence to discover the best about yourself and then find ways to put it to work helping others. The best is yet to come!

And by all means, enjoy the journey!

Christine